Netflix series Indian Matchmaking is this year’s scariest horror story about arranged marriages

On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it’s up to the couple to decide if it’s a match. In some respects, the producers should be commended. This is a show that turns away from the “big fat Indian wedding” trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker. The characters’ stories — as well as cringier moments — play out in entertaining ways, at times revealing the absurdities and awkwardness of matchmaking. I laughed when, for example, Taparia sought the consultation of an astrologist and a face reader. Matchmaker Sima Taparia meets with hopeful clients. Credit: Netflix.

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Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Taparia free rein to reinforce regressive methods of Indian matchmaking as undeniable fact. During the episode, Basra explained to Justin how she might have rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her. How could I ever trust you?

Netflix has released the trailer for Indian Matchmaking, its next unscripted dating series about the custom of arranged marriage that follows “elite matchmaker”.

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Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U.

In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.

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Indian Matchmaking: The ‘cringe-worthy’ Netflix show that is a huge hit

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What influences our youth to set aside their enterprising, free-wheeling spirit to follow the well-trodden path of arranged marriages? Part of the answer lies in the deep socialisation process, which is woven into the fabric of the close-knit extended Indian family, and its rootedness in the larger network of society. The young too seem to believe in the cultural definition of marriage as a family affair, rather than an individual undertaking. Harmony and shared values arising from common backgrounds are seen as more important than individual attraction.

The common grounds provided by an arranged match — familiar customs, foods, relatives, incomes, etc — also helps in negotiating the dark thicket of matchmaking. The upside is also that this aids the adjustment process with the new partner and family, a stand-in for what is seen as the variable element of love. When it comes to daughters, the disciplining fetters become even tighter, since a tarnished reputation would scupper her chances in the marriage market.

With whom? But in India it continues well into adulthood.

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The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status.

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If you’re reading this, safe to assume, you’ve watched the cringefest on Netflix that is ‘Indian Matchmaking‘. Ironically, the idea of the show was to dispel myths about the arranged marriage culture in India and break stereotypes about the Big Fat Indian Wedding. Yet, the show does just that – it portrays Indians and Indian families as an elitist, casteist, ageist, sexist and regressive bunch.

No, we’re not saying that the arranged marriage system in India is not a cultural practice that is embedded in misogyny and gender equality Remember all those newspaper matrimonial ads about fair, tall and skinny brides which made you feel nauseous? There’s nothing wrong about showing things as they are on television, but what’s worrying is that the makers fail to acknowledge that there’s a problem. While most of us hopped onto the matchmaking bandwagon just to get our daily dose of cringe and fodder for memes , we knew pretty much what to expect – Sima Taparia asking women to compromise, mothers looking for flexible brides for their sons, sons looking for women to take care of them like their mothers and so on.

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